Is using a gift registry appropriate?
Buying a wedding gift off a gift registry is an acceptable practice that allows guests to choose items that the bride wants, needs and is in her taste.  It can be very convenient for guests especially if they can access the registry and purchase gifts online or the bride registers with stores that have branches all across the country.  

How should the bride use the registry?
When registering, the bride should consider what she actually needs according to her lifestyle and register in a variety of price ranges.

If the bride lists highly priced items such as an entertainment center or plasma television, to avoid looking mercenary she should make it known that individuals could go together as a group and each contribute a portion of the funds to purchase the item; they and aren’t expected to buy the whole gift themselves.

Does a guest have to use the registry?
It is always up to the guests whether they choose to use the convenience of the guest registry. If you have a close relationship with the bride or are a relative, you might decide not to use the registry and instead purchase a gift that appeals to her special interests or perhaps give her a family heirloom that has special meaning or significance.  She may have shared some ideas with you of things she might like but hasn’t included in the registry.

How should a bride inform guests about the registry?
Although the bride should be registered by the time the invitations are sent out, it is not good form to include the list of gift registries with the invitation.  Word of mouth is still the most appropriate way of circulating this information.  Provide the list of relevant information to your mother, maid of honour, bridesmaids and future mother in law so they can inform guests who inquire about gift giving.

How much should a guest spend on a wedding gift?
There is no set amount one should spend on a wedding gift.  You spend on a gift what you can afford to spend.  No one should be expected to over-spend on a wedding gift no matter how close they are to the couple.  You can express your heart-felt wishes for a happy life together in a hand written note accompanying the gift.

As with choosing any gift there are a number of considerations; your relationship with the bride and groom, how long and how well you know them, your own financial means and how much help they need in furnishing their household.  The latter will be particularly relevant if the couple has been living together for some time or have been previously married.  If you are a very close friend or relative you would probably spend more on a gift than another person who has known the couple only a short time, but it is still dependant on your financial situation.

As much as “it’s the thought that counts” seems to have been replaced by the “how big and how much?”, it is important to remember that this special day is to celebrate the union and future life together of the happy couple, not about how much the couple can collect in wedding gifts.  The gift is an expression of a guest’s wish for the couple’s future happiness and to help them get started in their life together. 

Engagement Party Gifts
If there is a small informal engagement party with close friends and family, gifts are optional.  Usually only close relatives or friends would bring a gift just for the bride to the party.  The bride would only open the gifts at the party if everyone brought one.

At a large formal engagement party gifts are not expected.  If a guest does bring a gift, it would not be opened during the party to avoid embarrassing the others who correctly did not bring a gift.

To prevent overburdening her friends, a bride should consider having no more than two showers.  Brides should remember that the more showers your friends have to buy gifts for, the less funds they have available for the main wedding gift.