A wedding is an exciting occasion, full of hope, promise, and joy. The experience will hold the deepest meaning for you and those closest to you. It is a time to celebrate new beginnings surrounded by family and friends. For inter-faith or multi-cultural couples, it is also an opportunity to bring together two different traditions in a celebration of other faiths and cultures. Your first step is to speak with your officiant or clergyperson.

Some churches, denominations, or religious groups will only allow you to follow their own liturgy (wedding service). In some cases, one or both of you will have to be a member of that particular parish or the wider organization. However, there are officiants for whom this is not so important. Some ministers will be happy to preside over a personalized wedding ceremony in a private home, garden, park, banquet hall, hotel, private chapel, or on a boat.

Once you have found a minister or officiant who is open-minded, willing, and able to help you, then there are many possibilities open to you. You can put your own very personal stamp on the service. Start with a simple ceremony outline. This can be based on a religious model, something more spiritual, or more of a civil-style service. The basic requirements for the ceremony differ from one religious tradition to another, but for a civil ceremony you have to acknowledge there is no impediment to your marriage and you must affirm that you want to be married (to each other!).

Once you have chosen a starting point, you can then begin to add some personal touches. These elements will depend on your beliefs and personalities. With some sensitivity, it is possible to blend various religious traditions into a single wedding service. Inter-faith ceremonies can be amongst the most meaningful. You do need to think carefully about your own backgrounds and decide what is most important in the ceremony for you. Remember to be sensitive to your families’ feelings too, especially if they are more religious or traditional than either of you. Often, it is simply a case of making a prayer more general or choosing a reading that focuses on love or marriage rather than religious teachings. A simple introduction to explain what is happening in the ceremony can help to make all your guests comfortable and even help them to enjoy something different.

If you are not so religious, it is appropriate to include aspects of different faith traditions but from a more cultural perspective. For example, sharing a cup of wine from the Jewish faith can be done without the traditional blessing in Hebrew; the Christian unity candle may be lit without prayers, and scripture readings can be chosen, not so much for their religious content, but for the beauty of their imagery and the music of their language. There are more cultural elements such as the candle, cord and veil practice from the Filipino and Mexican traditions, the breaking of the glass that ends a Jewish ceremony, or the seven steps of the Hindu faith.